My quiet week!

Well, this is a very unusual week for me!  Brittany is serving with our church on a mission trip in Georgia.  Keagan, Bronwyn, and Brianna are at Camp One Way's Teen Retreat.  And Tobin, MengYan and Rory are at Camp CoCo, and hem/onc camp in Bloomington.  That means I have ONLY Daley Faith at home with me this week!   This house is SOOOO quiet!  It is kinda weird!  It was nice for the first day, now I miss them like crazy!  I am working on a list of household projects I am working on completing.  Doing good with it so far, but not sure I will complete my list by Friday!

Daley has been a lil stinker lately!  She is so darn cute.  She is not supposed to have enough brain to have personality, likes/dislikes, etc.  But she sure does!  Her big thing lately is holding a grudge.  She got FURIOUS with me over her bath a few days ago, and when I tried to comfort her afterwards (Yes, she HATES them), she literally took her little hands and pushed my face away from her!  So cute!  And yesterday I was trying to rub her head and kiss her cheek, but shame on me....I was interrupting her Sesame Street!  So, she did it again, literally pushed me away from her!  LOL  She is becoming just like the other kids, with a lil attitude!

We went to court on Monday, for our situation with Brian.  We completed all 5 hearings for his care in one appearance.  He is now a state ward, but we were able to maintain our parental rights.  We will be a part of his care, his future.  We will be able to visit him, call him, and retain our mom/dad relationship with him.  And....if he makes drastic improvements, we also have the option of trying to transition him back home.  He is currently in a place called Aunt Martha's in Chicago, while they try to find the best residential placement for him.  The only stinky news, is that we did not get our charges dropped at this point.  This hearing was only for Brian, not our criminal charges.  So, we have to go to court again on Aug. 5.  If they call our names and announce No Charge afterwards, we go home and it is all over.  If they give us a docket number, then we have to hire a lawyer.  I am confident we will be OK.  DCFS and the Asst State Atty have both asked the court to drop our charges.  And....God is in control.  As always.

Dale started his new job at DMH this week, and Patrick also started a new job, with MiCar.  Dale will be working with Dr. Krause and Dr. Dold in the Neurosurgical dept, and Patrick will be welding and pipefitting at ADM.  So good to have both my men working!

I am working hard this week to read through the entire New Testament.  Every time I read God's Word, I stumbled across something I don't ever remember reading before.  OR perhaps just something I really need to read at that particular time.  I am really convicted of LOVE this week.  Showing love, sharing love, experiencing love, and loving even when it is hard or I don't want to.

Blessings!!!!!

This is the amazing lil man my sister is hosting for the month!  His name is Shazou, and he is absolutely adorable!  I am so hoping they decide to make him a permanent family member!  Adoption rocks!

Dale's official name on the office door at DMH.  I am so proud of that sweet man!

Family News

Hello friends,
   I wanted to give you all an update, especially on our situation with Brian.  It has been a difficult week.  On Monday, we met with all of the therapists again, as well as executives from DCFS.  By the end of the meeting, they all agreed that we should not bring Brian home, for safety reasons.  We all decided that the best road for us to take was to do a DCFS supported "Lock-out", which is basically where we refuse to bring Brian home, once the mental hospital is ready to discharge him.  So, that happened on Wednesday.  The hospital knew this was our plan, and all people involved did as well.  I was able to talk with Brian beforehand, to explain the situation to him.

   The downside to a lock-out, is that the police have to be involved.  Shortly after the process began, they called, and needed  Dale and I to come to the police station, where they arrested us, and charged us with child endangerment/abandonment.  We literally sat in this little holding room for 4 hours, while they tried to sort it all out.  I am a document/paperwork freak, so this helped us tremendously, as I already had a packet of info prepared for both the police and the DCFS investigator.  Brian was in the room across from us, and he was very agitated.  We are told he tried to punch on of the officers, he destroyed some security equipment, and he took off his clothing (this is a new one).  I know he was just scared.

    On Monday, we go to court, to begin the Petition of Dependency process, and to ask that our charges be dropped.  I have met with the asst. to the States Atty, and they have assured me that they are asking for charges to be dropped.  DCFS is asking for this also, so I am fairly confident we will be ok.  Brian is in a temporary placement, at a shelter in Chicago, while they try to find the best residential facility for him.  We are NOT giving up our parental rights, we will still be very involved in his care and treatment.  We have explained to him, that he is still our son, and we will always be there for him, he just will not live in our home.....just like his sister Brogan who is in NC, or his brother Brandon, who lives with another adoptive family.  He seemed to understand this very well, and is ok with this transition.

   Whew.  In other news......next week will be so weird!  My kid are all heading in different directions!  Brittany leaves today for a mission trip with our church to Georgia.  Tomorrow Rory, Meng and Toby are heading to their favorite summer camp, Camp CoCo!  And Monday Keagan, Brianna, and Brownyn are heading to Camp One Way.  So.....I will have only Daley at home with me all week!!!!  Wow, crazy!  Don't worry, I have lots of things planned.  Mostly painting and cleaning.  And a little date night with Dale as well!

   Well, I have to get off this computer and get moving this morning.  Thanks for checking in.
God bless!

God is so good!

Just a short note to proclaim how good God is!  He continually shows me his glory, through my garden, through my kids, through baby birds hatching in the midst of a storm.  All around me are signs of his goodness and his power.  He is in control, and I have to always remember that....especially when my anxieties and worries kick in.  It is wonderful to have a Father who knows just what I need, and just how to take care of me!

My absolute JOY!

Our latest photo......all of the most amazing, beloved people in my life.  I love them all so much.  I cannot imagine what I could possibly have done for God to bless me so much!

Back row:  Brianna, Keagan, Patrick, Brittany,Timothy, and Bronwyn

Middle Row: Rory, MengYan and Tobin

Front: Dale, Daley Faith, and me (Ann)

In the photos are Brian (who was hospitalized during this photo), and Wen and Wu, who aren't home with us yet......they are waiting in China!

The Story of Brian

Hello friends.  If you have followed my blog at all, you know about our struggles with Brian.  We adopted Brian last year, as a very scared, very abused and neglected tween, who suffered from mental retardation, autism, PTSD, ADHD, and bi-polar disorder.  His time with us has been more than challenging.  But, we KNOW we felt God calling us to be his parents.

This week, Brian had another serious rage, and he attacked Dale at his therapy appointment, as well as at home.  When Patrick and Brittany tried to calm him, he attacked them both as well.  His rages continue to grow more volatile, more aggressive, and more dangerous.  Brian is only 13, but he is 190#, 5"10, and very strong.   When the police arrived, they escorted Brian to St. Mary's Hospital, for a psych evaluation.  I thought it would be best for me to follow, since Brian's rages have been aimed at Dale lately.  Not good.  He rose up off the bed twice to come after me, which was very scary, since I was locked in the room with him.  I am scared of him.  The kids are scared of him.  When he begins to rage, the kids run for cover, and Dale and I brace ourselves for the worst.

We are to the point of making choices for Brian's future.  We were advised last month, that Brian is a danger to others, and that he should be placed in a residential treatment facility instead of bringing him back home.  Everyone involved has serious concerns over Brian hurting one of the younger children.  Especially since this has already happened several times in the past.  But we just weren't ready for that hard move, and we elected to change his medications, and bring him back home.  We now have come to the realization that he cannot come back home.  The docs involved with Brian, feel he has schizophrenia, and must have 24hour treatment/care, in a facility that can keep him safe to himself and others.  We have applied to several organizations who offer assistance to families needing to place a child in a residential treatment facility, but cannot afford it.  We have been denied by every single one.  Costs per year are about $87,000.  So, what do we do?

We are meeting with all of the folks involved in Brian's care on Tuesday afternoon.  We are also meeting with social workers from DCFS.  We are planning to ask DCFS to take permanent custody of Brian, but allow us to continue our parental relationship with him.  This is truly the only way we can find, that would get him the care he needs, and keep all of us safe.  And it sucks.  And I hate that word.  But, it does.

So, you don't hear very often about the ugly side of adoption.  The side where it doesn't go like you planned.  The side where you wonder if you really did hear God asking you to adopt this child, and where you feel like a failure as a parent, when you cannot reach this child, no matter what you do.  But....all that being said, I trust God.  I don't know what the future holds for Brian, but I do know that I sat with Brian as Pastor Tim Crump led him to Christ.  I watched him  be baptized.  I know that Brian wants to do the right thing, but this mental illness has ravaged him to the point where he cannot think rationally.  So, I am putting Brian into God's hands, and I am trusting Him to take care of him, and to heal him, since I cannot.  And I am trusting God to bring peace and joy back into my home, because it has been a dark place lately.  And I am trusting God, that DCFS will understand our situation, and be willing to work with us, instead of condemn us.  And I am trusting God, that you, my friends, will also try too understand, and not condemn us.  This is so hard.  

Blessings,
Ann

Vacation!

We had such an amazing vacation!  spent a week on Hilton Head Island, with my daughter, son-in-law, grandson, and Meng's BFF from China, and her amazing family!  It was a much needed break from the normal McKinney craziness!

Brian is doing well, his behaviors are much improved, and now it is Daley's turn to give me fits!  She has had a crazy amount of scary seizures this past few weeks, but hoping a new med will keep them down.

We have decided to enroll Keagan, Bronwyn, Brittany and Brianna in Decatur Christian School.  We are excited and nervous!  14 years of homeschooling.......and now this huge change.  Seems our life is full of changes lately!

Wen and Wu.......well, let's just say I am getting SO excited!  Today I bought them each another outfit, and also washed the clothing that I have put back for them already.  I need to do some decorating in their bedroom, to finish it up!

That's all I have time for today.  Except to mention that today I turned FORTY EIGHT!
Man, that seems so old.  How on earth has my life gone so fast?   Friends, take time to do what is important!  Love your family and friends, and serve our Lord.  Get rid of time-wasters in your life.  Life is too short to waste it!

God Bless!!

Summer is ALMOST here!

Hello friends!
   Well, we have TWO days of school left!  This has been a rough week....I think the kids think that summer vacation has already started!  LOL  We are leaving on Friday to head to Hilton Head Island, our favorite vacation spot in the entire world!  We are meeting my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson there, as well as Meng's bff from China!  It should be a GREAT week!

    Our paperwork for Wen and Wu is moving right along.  We got our USCIS (Immigration) paperwork ahead of schedule, and just today went the last dossier document to our agency.  All of this will be put together, and sent to China on Friday!  And then we wait for China to sent us the "Letter Seeking Confirmation".  I am thinking we should be heading to China by September!

    Brian is doing better.  We had a very rough few weeks.  Brian had an aggressive rage about 3 weeks ago, and spent quite a bit of time in a mental hospital.  There were some very tense moments, when we questioned our parenting abilities, and the safety of our family, during his rages.  But, he is home....and doing much better.  We have been praying that God would heal him completely, or use medication to bring healing to his mind, which is ravaged by mental illness.  I am hopeful that God has answered our prayers, and that we are through this dark time.  He is a good boy....he is just confused, abused, and paranoid.  He cannot just understand that we love him, and just want to help him!  But, with God's help, I know this can work!

    Timmy is back with us.  Patrick graduates from MTI on June 14th!  Danyne just graduated from ONU, and is heading to AZ, where she will be working on a Navajo reservation.  Keagan, Britt, Brianna, and Bron are VERY happy to be almost done with school!  We are considering a change for them next year, by placing them in a private Christian school.  They are both excited and nervous about this idea.  No decisions yet, still praying about it!

     Toby, Rory, and Meng are LOVING our new trampoline~  What a great way to get some exercise!  And Daley is growing like a weed, and absolutely LOVING her gravy and mashed potatoes!

   And Dale's big news is his new job!  He just accepted a position with DMH's neurosurgery department.  He will be making more $, less call time, closer to home, and hopefully a little less stress.  He begins on July 7.  I am excited for him!  He will literally be 6 minutes from home!

   Well, I think that is all the updates for now.    Oh, except that I forgot that my baby sister has caught the adoption bug!  She and her hub, Erech, are hosting a Chinese orphan, "Roy" for a month over the summer.  And they are already asking about the adoption process!   God is good!

Blessings to you all!
Enjoy these new pics!