It wasn't always like this. When she was born, she was SO difficult. She cried most of the time she was awake. She rarely slept more than an hour or two at night. The first few years with her are a blur of exhaustion and frustration. A very wise doctor told me she suffered from "neurological irritability", and that it would settle down by the time she turned 3. It took a little longer than that, but she rarely cries now, and she is very content. This peaceful nature she has now was worth every sleepless night.
My sweet Daley-girl has been really sick. In December, she got a virus, and it almost took her life. She was in the PICU for a week. And this past week she has been very sick again. Several times all of her vitals have crashed, and caused absolute panic in my heart. It has forced me to stop and consider how fragile her life is. And it made me have such mixed feelings. I cannot stand the thought of losing her. But I know that when she see Jesus, she will be able to run to Him, speak to Him, stand straight and hold her head high.....all things she has never been able to do. I cannot wait for her to taste and enjoy food, to get grass stain on her little jeans. To actually wear out her clothes! Because I know Jesus, and I believe His Word, I know that when she meets him, she will leave her broken body behind. She wont need the VP shunt, the Vagal Nerve Stimulator, the feeding tube, the SP tube. She wont need her back brace or her leg braces. Her wheelchair, her bath chair. These things will not be needed, because she will be made perfect and whole! I will be so happy for her! But so broken for me.
Please pray for me. This is hard. When she was little, I used to have 2 very different dreams over and over. The first was an amazing dream. I would wake up in the morning, to her standing at her crib, calling my name in a beautiful, clear voice. A MIRACLE! Can you only imagine the countless people who would come to serve the Lord after seeing such a miracle??? The second dream was when I would wake up to find that she had passed in her sleep. And here I am, caught in the middle of these two dreams.
I love this girl. She has changed my heart forever. She has made me a better person, a better mom, a better servant.
God bless you friends. Hug your kids!